'Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club' isn't worth visiting

Lindsay Lohan makes references to proper behavior on movie sets and dealing with directors in "Lindsay Lohan...

Posted: Jan 8, 2019 12:09 PM
Updated: Jan 8, 2019 12:09 PM

Lindsay Lohan makes references to proper behavior on movie sets and dealing with directors in "Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club," which seems odd, since if the one-time child star had more promising opportunities in that medium, she probably wouldn't be headlining this very by-the-numbers MTV reality show.

Having opened a night club in Athens, Lohan has expanded to a beach club in Mykonos. But that picturesque Greek setting becomes the backdrop for a pretty conventional, Bravo-style series, where Lohan enlists attractive young people to work at the club as bottle servers, hosts and bartenders -- functioning as "ambassadors," as she puts it -- to help prompt guests to spend their money.

Beaches

Celebrities

Coastal areas

Destinations and attractions

Environment and natural resources

Landforms and ecosystems

Lindsay Lohan

Points of interest

Almost every beat of "Beach Club," after that, is pretty generic, an exercise in banality of the classic "I'm not here to make friends" variety that's familiar to aficionados of the unscripted-TV genre. There is the self-professed "waitress slayer" (based on the number he claims to have bedded), the woman who proudly says she's in the midst of her "ho phase," and lots of shots, sometimes employing slow-motion, of tanned bodies.

"If I knew I was going to meet Lindsay, of course I would have put on clothes," one of the new arrivals says, which might make sense for a regular job interview, but doesn't necessarily comport with the priorities of the show.

For her part, Lohan plays the role of caring boss, while her creative partner, Panos Spentzos, volunteers to be the "bad cop." The actress is thus a sporadic presence in the introductory episode, and winds up being saddled with familiar dialogue (there's really not another word for it), like saying in regard to the young folk recruited to work for her, "This is not a summer vacation. To make it, you have to be the best of the best."

Mostly, "Beach Club" seeks to cash in on Lohan's name to garner attention while offering beachfront escapism -- a tried-and-true approach during the winter months, which explains why another fun-in-the-sun exercise, USA's revival of the dating series "Temptation Island," will wash ashore later this month.

Related: 'The Bachelor,' Golden Globes and the blurring of reality from 'reality'

As for drama, the "Beach Club" premiere contains a fair amount of squabbling, but the real promise of conflict comes during the "This season on" tease, which depicts several instances of people getting drinks thrown in their faces in the midst of heated disputes.

Such drama goes with the territory, but the best advice would be not to waste too much of that booze. Because for those who choose to become regular TV patrons of "Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club," odds are you're going to need it.

"Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club" premieres Jan. 8 at 8 p.m. on MTV.

Oregon Coronavirus Cases

Data is updated nightly.

Confirmed Cases: 42808

Reported Deaths: 664
CountyConfirmedDeaths
Multnomah9292163
Marion5929108
Washington583877
Umatilla337645
Clackamas317265
Lane241927
Malheur192738
Jackson17076
Deschutes113613
Yamhill100115
Linn81615
Polk65715
Jefferson6059
Morrow5457
Lincoln51713
Union4682
Benton4456
Klamath4173
Douglas3598
Wasco34816
Hood River2771
Columbia2691
Josephine2693
Coos2510
Clatsop2440
Baker1253
Crook1102
Tillamook700
Curry581
Wallowa462
Lake380
Harney340
Sherman190
Gilliam110
Grant110
Wheeler20
Unassigned00
Eugene
Clear
57° wxIcon
Hi: 64° Lo: 37°
Feels Like: 57°
Corvallis
Clear
62° wxIcon
Hi: 65° Lo: 37°
Feels Like: 62°
Roseburg
Clear
60° wxIcon
Hi: 70° Lo: 38°
Feels Like: 60°
North Bend
Clear
61° wxIcon
Hi: 62° Lo: 44°
Feels Like: 61°
KEZI Radar
KEZI Temperatures
KEZI Planner

LATEST FORECAST

Community Events